02 October 2006

Monday once again

So, I really really really need to learn to be a focused researcher. I just keep on getting distracted by, well, pretty much everything. Frisbee. Soccer. Baseball. Coffee. Ladies. Lunch. Coffee. More ladies. TV. DVDs. CDs to review. Somehow, some way, I really need to get it through my thick head that I am (a) an adult; (b) an academic and (c) need to get serious. Maybe I'm trapped in what is was called Impostor Syndrome and I'm somehow convinced that everything I've earned is just a chance and really has nothing to do with any innate talent I might have. Or, possibly, the fact that I've avoided anything resembling real life by going to grad school and working in universities for, oh, ever. Which does make me wonder/worry a bit that if I'm going to be an academic as a career choice that I might never grow up. Am I doomed to forever be trapped in this world for the rest of my life? Is this what I have to look forward to ... ? Am I just being overly pessimistic at a time where I lack certainty in my career, my romance, my general place in life? Maybe so ... what is there to do? I have no idea, so I'll just pop on some Rilo Kiley or Cursive and hope it all works out in the end.

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